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Let’s Talk About Partners
How to talk to your partner about safe sex, STDs, and getting tested.

Who should be tested?

Before you start having any kind of sex with someone, both of you should be tested for STDs. It’s better to know what’s up before you start having sex.

It’s important for you and your partner to talk about using condoms, preventing STDs, other safe sex practices and sexual needs at the start of your relationship but the conversation shouldn’t end there. Keep that conversation going.

And keep it up, you and your partners should get tested for all STDs at least once a year and use condoms consistently.


How do I talk to my partner about getting tested?

Try something along the lines of…

“Before we start this thing, let’s get tested.”

“I think we should both get checked…want to go together?”

“Let’s both get tested. Either of us could have something and not know it.”

“I think we should both get checked. Sometimes you can’t tell, so I just want us to be safe for each other.”

“Just so you know, the last time I got tested was 3 months ago. What about you?”


How do I talk about using condoms?

Condoms can be sexy, and using one shows that you are in control of the situation. Health is wealth, so take control over yours.

Talk with your partner about how you care about your status and staying clean. Also tell her you care about her and you don’t want anything to happen to her from an STD harming their future.


What if my partner takes offense or thinks I’m not clean?

Tell them that you want to be in control of your health and you care about theirs.

Say that condoms can make things more fun. Trying different condoms and lube can even amp things up like using ribbed condoms or heat-sensitive lube. Condoms can even make your stay erect longer.


What if I think (or know) I have an STD, how do I tell my partner?

Read about ways to have that conversation.


Do I have to use a condom 100% of the time?

Yes. Condoms are only effective if they are used the right way each time you have sex.

Be prepared. If you plan to have sex (or even if you don’t), keep a condom close — in your backpack, or pocket, and also next to your bed. If you are storing a condom in your pocket, remember to replace it often because if you keep bringing the same condom out with you it’s likely to get damaged.


What if I have more than 1 partner? Should I use condoms with all of them?

You have no control when you don’t use a condom. And don’t assume that you’re the only one with a side piece. Maintaining relationships with multiple people at once can be hard enough. Using condoms, with everyone, takes away some chaos and gives you the freedom and control to be with whoever you want.


Who’s supposed to bring the condom?

Responsibility for condoms shouldn’t burden just one person. In an ideal world, both you and your partners will carry condoms. But make sure you’re always prepared.

Communication is key, talked about who’s buying and bringing the condoms.

Ultimately though, be in control and always have condoms.


Where can I get tested?

Click here to see places to get tested.

 

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